My person: Mike

Our friend Mike passed away on Saturday. Unexpectedly and shockingly. He went in with an aneurysm in his leg that we now know was hiding a much more powerful and rare disease. Unfortunately the doctors did not identify it on time and he did not make it out of his surgery. We spoke on the phone on Friday night and agreed that I'd go and visit on Sunday and bring him some good food. Mike was hungry. He said he was fine and we joked as we always did. He died on Saturday, Feb. 27, and I was so unprepared for the news that I literally fell on the ground. Only a few days have passed and I already miss him too much.

I met Mike at a teaching workshop for new Faculty at York in the summer of 2008. We sat at the same table doing an exercise, our syllabi in hand. I remember being immediately drawn to Mike. He was full of ideas and ideals, he did not just want to teach, he wanted to move his students so that they could transform the world; he didn't just want to be a Professor at York he wanted to improve the University; he did not just want to do research he wanted to use it to make a better world. And so it was that with Mike that I did the unheard: having spoken to him only a few times I invited him over for dinner, and I have never regretted it.

Mike was committed to his teaching and research. When we went for lunch he usually started off by telling me that it had to be fast because he had to go back to the lab. But Mike was curious about the world and took pleasure in discussing it so we invariably ended up talking for hours about work, life and love. A frequent topic of discussion was teaching. Mike had high hopes for his students, he wanted them to learn, to be curious, to challenge themselves to do great things. He worked hard on this, spending much time preparing for his classes, and worrying about how to engage them. He established an open door policy so that students could come and talk to him at any time, and he met with them on weekends for extra tutorials. He cared for his students and worried when the grades came back and they weren't as good as he'd like them to be. But Mike was adamant that compromising was not the solution, instead he wanted to continue challenging his students while simultaneously using his experience and their feedback to improve as a teacher.

Mike's ambition was well reflected in his science. The science Mike pursued did not fall along a well-maintained path. Mike struggled with the big problems in chemistry of finding ways to transforming light into electricity, and of how to control the assembly of molecules. He had many other ideas that were easier or more readily publishable but Mike wasn’t ready to ‘start making sausage’ as he would say.*

For Mike making good students and good science also meant working at transforming York, so as to make it the best university, a place where students and Faculty conduct high profile research. To that end he was very much involved in University policies and politics: he attended union meetings, read policy documents, and contributed to the administration of his department. His enthusiasm was infectious and made those around him engage too. A week ago he made me register, again, for a new faculty lunch. I obliged and told him that by now I had already registered twice. Mike wrote me back saying that was probably a good thing because it wasn't clear how much food they'd give us.

One of Mike's greatest passions was the environment. For Mike saving the world hinged on changing it, and he didn't just pay lip service to this goal. He put it in practice by incorporating it into his work, his politics and his life. He joined activist groups, went to demonstrations and he often wrote letters to Canada's environment minister. We used to joke that if one day the minister came to York he'd look at Mike and say, "oh, you're *that* Prof. Pollard!" while politely excusing himself. Lately Mike was thinking that he'd like to organize a lecture at York on climate change, and we'd bounce around names of people he could invite, their speaking styles, and how to obtain funding. Mike also lived by his ideals, he didn't own a car and he kept his possessions at a minimum, he worked on green energy cells, and he felt guilty every time he had coffee on a paper cup. One day last summer after having dinner at my place I asked Mike to come to the balcony with me to smoke a cigarette. Mike objected saying that smoking was bad for me, but what really upset him was when I threw the butt on the floor, that was *bad* for the environment.

Mike was all these things and more, he was also, for instance a climber who adored the outdoors and a ballroom dancer, but above all, Mike was friend to many. To me Mike he was one of my best friends. He was my person. He kept me sane and brightened my days. He was the person that I shared things with, good and bad. He was a good listener and knew how to ask the right questions. When we got together time flew by as we discussed everything and anything. In any given conversation we'd seamlessly go from the everyday to the philosophical, from life to love and back. Mike had strong ideas about the world, some of them pretty radical, and he enjoyed voicing and discussing them. He refused to conform. And that is what made it fun to be with him, what made our conversations engaging and stimulating.

More than with most of my other friends Mike was both my friend and my son's. He loved children and always saw Mathias as an asset not an impediment, and Mathias adored him back. To this day if I ask Mathias if knows who I saw today at the University, the answer is always "Mike!" and always with a twinkle in his eyes. Often Mathias asked me to call Mike so that he could talk to him and invite him over for dinner. As soon as Mike arrived he would sit on the floor to play with Mathias. Mathias would then look at me and say "you can go to the kitchen" as if saying "Mike is now mine!". While they played I would hear Mike teaching Mathias how to build airplanes, cars and trucks, but also teaching him how to behave.

Together we decorated Christmas trees, and celebrated birthdays, Thanksgivings, Mike's NSERC grant, our mundane everyday victories and losses. Twice Mike brought over dinner for us to eat at my place so that I could rest. Mike was an amazing cook who enjoyed the complexities of preparing a meal. He liked seasoning the food with herbs, herbs that Mathias would later describe as those green things while he pointing at them making faces. One day when I had a terrible day at the university and was ready to quit I called Mike and he was at my office in 2 minutes, he calmed me down and made me laugh. Mike always had a smile on his face, even if he only wanted to watch depressing movies. He refused to be easily categorized, was full of contradictions, a rich and complex individual who was not afraid of standing up for his beliefs. He was kind and generous and an amazing friend.

I am still adjusting to this new reality. I feel angry, lonely and sad. And I'd like to tell you, Professor Mike The Destroyer, wherever you are, that you have taught me a lot. But most of all, Mike, I want to tell you thank you for being part of our family, for helping me make a family in Toronto. You mean the world to us, we love you and miss you very much. You made our lives so much better.

Ana & Mathias


* This paragraph was written by Mark Nitz a friend of Mike's who sent it to me.